My Goode Quotes & Poetry
from various sources
 

I love quotes! If you have one, send it to me!!

Jump to quotes about: * Friends * Drinking *Religion/Uplifting * Women/Marriage * Gardening *
                                       * Death & Politics * Aging * Wise Words * Art Criticism *Latin Quips

I suggest scrolling  down the list...I've mixed funny & pointless quotes inbetween the subjects.


May those who love us, love us,
And may those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn thier ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.

-Gaelic Blessing



There are good ships
And there are wood ships;
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
Are friendships,
And may they always be.

- Irish toast



A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson~



I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because,
of all the things granted us by wisdom,
none is greater or better than friendship.

~ Pietro Aretino~



Fill up the goblet,
Let it swim in foam,
that overlooks the brim;
He that drinks deepest,
Here's to him.

~Charles Cotton, 17th century~



"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin~


There is no bad whiskey, only some
that's better than others.


   Lord grant me the serenity
to accept the things that I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies
of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.


Wooden Shoe rather be Dutch?
~ bumper sticker ~


God may send a man good meate, but the devyll sende an evyll cooke.


Hospitality is to be shown even toward an enemy.
The tree doth not withdraw its shade, even from the woodcutter.

~ the Hitopadesa~



God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.

~Elbert Hubbard~



Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

~Matthew 5:44~



If there was no sin and no Devil, what need of Christ as a redeemer?
~Martin Luther~


So if there were no angels, would there be no sin?
~ Pearl Jam "Push Me,Pull Me" ~


Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
-anonymous vampyre


Never trust a vampire,
always cut the cords,
and make sure to master your skills.
~Vampire the Masquerade: Redemption~


To be polite in German is to lie.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe~
Faust



Steel true, blade straight.


Vocatus Atque
Non Vocatus,
Dues Aderit.

-Carl Jung
(bidden or not bidden, God is present)



Deus Ex Machina

Optima dies...Prima fugit.
-Virgil
(The best days are the first to flee)


Hic Habitat Felicitas!
(here dwells happiness)
~ above the door of a brothel ~


Nemo me impune lacessit.
(no one attacks me with impunity)


A room without books is like a body without a soul.
-Cicero


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point;
that's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
~Mistinguett~


Never go to bed mad:
stay up and fight.
~Phyllis Diller~


I can resist everything except temptation.
~Oscar Wilde~


By this also ye must know that women have dominion over you:
do ye not labour and toil, and give and bring all
to the woman?

~ the Apocrypha~



A man's home is his wife's castle.
~Alexander Chase~


Any married man should forget his mistakes -
no use two people remembering the same thing.
~Duane Dewel~


"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein-


Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
One is to let her think she's having her own way, and the other is
to let her have it.
~Lyndon B. Johnson~


Romeo, oh Romeo,
where the hell art thou?


Personally I know nothing about sex
because I've always been married.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor~


Chocolate, coffee, and men:
so much better when they're rich.


"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate
those who do. And for the people who like country music,
denigrate means 'put down.'"
~Bob Newhart~


"I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin
underwear, fighting over a belt?... The one who wins gets a purse. They
do it in gloves.  It's the accessory connection I love."
~ John McGovern~


Falling from Heaven is not as painful as surviving the impact.
~Tormented Angel
  Magic:tG


She represents not hope,
but hope's desperate fury.
~on the Warrior Angel
  Magic:tG


The harder you push, the stronger we become.
~ Sustainer of the Realm
   Magic:tG


Born with wings of light and a sword of faith,
this heavenly incarnation embodies both fury and  purity.
~Serra Angel, M:tG


Like a laughing knife, immaculate and sharp, is the Melesse.
~Melesse, M:tG


To stir is human, to stay in bed is divine.


Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'm gonna take over.


Sow barley in March, in April, and May,
The later in sand, and the sooner in clay.
What worse for barley,
Than wetness and cold?
What better to skillful,
Than time to be bold?

~Instructions For March:
16th century Farmer's Almana c



Laws of Gardening:
1. other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
2. Fancy gizmos don't work.
3. If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
4. You get the most of what you need the least.

~Arthur Bloch~


Rain in February is as good as manure.
~French Proverb~


Thou should not taunt a gryphon, for thou art crunchy and go well with brie.


This is only to be expected of dragons,
who do not submit to the unidirectional causal requirements
of history, being myths, and niether timebinding
nor timebound.
~Ursula K. LeGuin

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!


What is the most cunning of all animals? That which no man has seen.

~ Tibetan Proverb



It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. As if this was not enough, it's also a bloody big flying thing.

           ~ Terry Pratchett, "Guards! Guards!"


I believe everybody is born with a photographic memory, but not all of us have film.


This is the happiest spot in my life,
for it grows up my flowers
and covers my wife!

- on a wife's tombstone



You can be a king or a street sweeper,
but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.

~Robert Alton Harris, d. April 21,1992
executed in CA's gas chamber



Shall wee all die?
All die wee shall.
Shall wee die all?
Die all wee shall.

- tombstone inscription



Eat right, exercise...die anyway.


The Body of B.Franklin, printer
Like the cover of an old book
Its contents turn out
And stript of its lettering & guilding
Lies here. Food for worms.
For, it will as he believed
Appear once more
In a new and more elegant Edition
corrected and improved
By the Author.

-Benjamin Franklin's Epitaph



Sleep after toyle,
Port after stormie seas,
Ease after warre,
Death after life,
Does greatly please.


Dreamlike the soul flies, insubstantial.
~Homer The Odyssey


Italian Bureacracy is claimed to be the closest to that of Heaven:
it works solely by Divine Intervention and takes Eternity for anything to happen.


Politicians are like diapers:
they need to be changed often and for the same reason.

Stop crime! Shoot first.


Don't steal: the government hates competition.


A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove you don't need it.
~Bob Hope~


If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet,
I'd put shoes on my cat!


I was cut out to be rich, but sewn up wrong.


Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
~Mark Twain~


Natural ability without education has oftener raised men glory and virtue, than education without natural ability.
~Cicero~

First you forget names, then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.
~Lee Rosenburg~


Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle.
~Bob Hope~


A Senility Prayer

God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.


The great mind knows the power of gentleness,
Only tries force because persuasion fails.
~ Robert Browning~


There are no degrees of vanity, there are only grades
of ability in concealing it.
~Mark Twain~


I refuse to organize my life: it interferes with the creative process.

Why is the Alphabet in that order?
Is it because of that song?


If you must burn our flag...
please wrap yourself in it first!


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
~Euripides~


If one's home is one's castle, is the home office the dungeon?


We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.


There never was a good war or a bad peace.
~Ben Franklin~


The person with imagination is never alone.


All reason is against it, and all healthy instinct is for it.
~Samuel Butler~


"We cannot step outside of the universe to observe it.
We are part of our own experiment."
~Malcolm Godwin~
Angels: an endangered species


"The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller~


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
~Ben Franklin~


Though jealousy be produced by love, as ashes are by fire,
yet jealousy extinguishes love, as ashes smother the flame.
~Margaret of Navarre~


Jealousy:
the dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.
~Havelock Ellis~


Every man values himself more than all the rest of men,
but he always values others' opinions of himself
more than his own.
~Marcus Aurelius~


Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
~William Hazlitt~


What is popular is not always right
and what is right is not always popular.


The second word makes the quarrel.
~Japanese Proverb~


Learn as though you would never be able to master it;
hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it.
~Confucius~


Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
~Arthur C. Clarke~


If you say you can't, you probably won't.


" When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had
learned in seven years."
~ Mark Twain~


You know you're skinny when:
...you can look through a peephole with both eyes.
...crackheads walk up to you and say," Damn! Where you gettin' your drugs?"


What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight,
but the size of the fight in the dog.
~Coach Bear Bryant~


"Any great work of art...revive and readapts time and space, and the measure
of its success is the extent to which it makes you an inhabitant of that
world - the extent to which it invites you in and lets you breathe its
strange, special air."
  ~ Leonard Bernstein ~


When I get my hands on painting materials
I don't give a damn about other people's painting...
~Maurice de Vlaminck~


Don't everlastingly read messages into paintings;
there's the Daisy - you don't rave over or read messages into it -
you just look at that bully little flower - isn't that enough?
~ John Marin~
(1872-1953)


" If a man says of some picture, ' Yes, but what does it mean?'
ask him, and keep on asking him, what his carpet means,
or the circular patterns on his shoe's rubber soles.
Make him lift up his foot and look at them."
~ Stephen Potter~

"I like antique paintings more than modern.Art from the time before it became
exasperating, absurd, and for me,
lost its direction."
~Roberto Cavalli~


If artists *do* see fields of blue they are deranged, and should go to the asylum.
If they only pretend to see them blue, then they are criminals
and should go to prison.
~Adolf Hitler~


Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before,
but in saying exactly what you think yourself.

~ James Fitz-James Stephen ~
 
 

GIMME MORE QUOTES!!!!

( If you are easily offended, please don't follow the above link )